I recently attended a mastermind event led by my mentor, the brilliant Ron Reich, during which we went through a lightning-bolt of an exercise. It was fun, quick, and more enlightening than a dozen self-help books combined.
This exercise did two mind-blowing things for me. First, it served as a magic mirror, showing me a crystal-clear reflection of my dream life. But here’s the kicker: It also spotlighted how I was sneakily (and subconsciously) hitting the dimmer switch on my dreams. In short, I was “playing small.” Crazy, right?
This exercise will only take a few minutes of your time but trust me, it’s going to rev up your brain like a high-powered engine, getting you all fired up about your own boundless potential.
Ready to take the plunge? Let’s dive in! You can watch the video or read on for the main points.
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What Does It Mean to Play Small?
Before we dive into the exercise, let’s talk about what “playing small” means.
Playing small means clipping the wings of your dreams, hopes, and goals just because you’re worried about what others might think. Or maybe there’s a tiny, nagging voice in your head—that pesky subconscious fear—cautioning you to stick to the well-trodden path. Don’t take risks. Don’t rock the boat. That’s exactly what playing small feels like.
You’re staying snug in your comfort zone and maintaining the status quo, but all the while you’re keeping your personal light from shining.
Why Are We Shrinking Ourselves, Really?
You might be wondering what’s making us play this game of life like we’re on the junior varsity team. Well, meet the culprit: it’s fear. And I’m talking about the big Fs here: fear of judgment; fear of rejection; and that old familiar friend, fear of stepping out of our cozy, familiar comfort zone.
Here’s the kicker: our deepest, most secret fear is that we might just be a dazzling, unstoppable powerhouse. Pretty backward, right?
Somewhere along the line we got it into our heads that if we shrink ourselves down, keep our dreams nice and tidy and achievable, we’ll saving ourselves from a big, fat, public faceplant. But let me tell you a secret: playing small is just like signing up for your worst nightmare, because when you play small, you’re not even aiming for the big leagues and you may never know what you’re truly capable of.
The Telltale Signs You’re Playing Small
Alright, let’s break this down together. Most of us are guilty of playing small at some point in our lives, and here’s how you can tell when it’s happening. See if any of these ring a bell:
- Downplaying your achievements. You just got a promotion at work, or maybe you completed a marathon, and all you can say when someone congratulates you is, “Oh, it’s no big deal.” Sound familiar? It’s like you’ve become a master of the art of making mountains into molehills when it comes to your own accomplishments.
- Fear of voicing your opinions. Do you often bite your tongue during discussions just because you’re scared of what others might think or say? This deep fear of criticism is pretty common and can really cage your thoughts and perspectives. If you’re too worried about others’ opinions you might be playing small, my friend.
- Constant comparison with others. Do you continually catch yourself comparing your life to your neighbors’, colleagues’, or even those influencers’ Instagram-perfect lives? We’re not talking about having a healthy, competitive nature here. If you’re always looking over the fence and feeling like your grass isn’t green enough, you’re belittling your own worth, and that is playing small.
- Lack of ambitious goals. Can’t remember the last time you set a bold, ambitious goal for yourself? Does self-doubt stop you from reaching for the stars? If your dreams and plans feel as exciting as a slice of plain toast (no offense to the toast lovers out there!), you might be treading in playing small territory.
- Settling for less. Ever find yourself settling for something—whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a life path—that feels more like a consolation prize rather than the jackpot? If your heart sighs “I guess this will do” more often than not, then bingo! You’re settling for less than your heart’s desire.
Do you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios? If you nodded your head to any of these, take heart. That’s the first step to kicking the habit of shrinking yourself, so give yourself a pat on the back. You’re about to be on your way to bigger and better things!
The Benefits of Dreaming Big
Imagine flinging the door wide open to a world bursting with opportunities. That’s what it feels like when you break away from the playing small mindset. It’s like you’ve been in hibernation and now you’re ready to soak up all the sunshine and possibilities.
Your confidence blooms, your ambitions soar, and you’re raring to seize opportunities that come your way. You become the truest version of you, unafraid of judgment, and start creating deeper, more authentic connections. Shaking off the self-limiting shackles is like supercharging your personal and professional growth journey.
Are you pumped up yet? Ready to pack away your playing small boots and step into your dream big sneakers? Great! This kickass 3-step exercise is just for you. This is your map to confront your deepest fears, stare down that gnarly subconscious fear of failure, and set yourself on a super exciting path to dream BIG.
Before we lace up and start this journey, let’s take a moment to remember these powerful words by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Take a moment to let that sink in. Now let’s get ready to leave the Junior League and step into the realm of our true, powerful potential. Who’s with me?
The Dream Big Exercise
All you’ll need for this exercise is a few minutes, a piece of paper (or your favorite journal), and a pen.
The exercise is broken down into three parts. Don’t cheat yourself by not going through this exercise step by step. It was a real game-changer for me and I know it can be for you, too, if you follow it completely. Invest this time in yourself. You deserve it!
When you’re ready to go beyond your comfort zone and dream BIG, let’s get started!
Part 1: Crafting Your Dream Life Vision
Start by envisioning your ideal life. Where do you reside? Who are your companions? What’s your daily routine? Do you work and, if yes, how much? How about traveling and giving back to your community? Explore every detail, from your home’s décor to your hobbies.
This step is all about crafting your personal success. Whether it’s a simple vision or a ballsy, audacious dream, it’s all about YOU.
Remember, pausing and actually taking time to jot down your vision is crucial.
Part 2: Reimagine Your Vision
Done with part one? Fantastic! Let’s move on.
Imagine the vision you just created in Part 1 is already your reality. What would your new vision be? Yes, you heard me right—your previous vision is now your current life. So what’s next? Pause once again and jot down this second vision.
You might notice a difference between these two visions. Maybe, like me, you’ll see a drastic shift. Perhaps your subconscious mind attempted to make the first vision more “realistic,” causing you to omit elements that felt out of reach.
Don’t limit yourself; you deserve your dream life. If you can achieve your first vision, the second one is possible, too. The point of this exercise is to unveil your deepest desires, sans any psychological limitations.
Part 3: Step Into Your Ultimate Self
We’ve reached the final step. This is where the magic really happens!
Picture yourself living your ultimate life—that incredible vision you created in Part 2. Imagine waking up every day as that person. Can you see it? Good.
How does that person go about their day? What do they put first on their to-do list? How do they choose to spend their time and energy? What are their non-negotiables, their true values, their clear boundaries? How do they show up in the world, interact with others, and make decisions?
Really dive deep here. Get a crystal-clear image of who that person is. And here’s the kicker: start showing up as that person TODAY. Yes, you heard right. Not tomorrow, not next week—TODAY!
This is your golden ticket, the leapfrog move that’s going to catapult you from where you’re standing now to where you truly want to be. You’re not just bridging the gap between your present and future, you’re sprinting across that bridge. Ready to hit the ground running? Let’s do this!
Dream Big and Take Action
Look at you! You’ve not only crafted a crystal-clear vision of your ultimate dream life but also learned how to step into the shoes of your ultimate self. You’re on the starting line, ready to sprint toward that dream life. How’s that for a confidence boost?
Let me share something. You’re allowed—no, STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to—DREAM BIG. Like, skyscraper big. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because you are more than capable, more than enough.
Here’s the cherry on top: you can cherish the life you have right now and still yearn for more. Gratitude and desire are not mortal enemies; they’re secret besties.
I hope this has sparked a fire in you and set your creative gears churning. Go ahead…dream big and make it happen!
If you did this exercise, please feel free to share any takeaways in the comments below.
If you’re an aspiring online entrepreneur and you feel like you could use a little help mapping out your first steps, download my free guide, The 4-Step ‘No Time to Waste’ Online Business Start-Up Blueprint.
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